I was studying abroad in Rwanda when I met the members of the Association of Genocide Survivors (AERG in French). I went there to find out how Hutus and Tutsis could live together, so close together, after what happened in 1994. A friend of a friend connected me to the AERG members in Kigali. I told them about my research and they shared their stories with me. They showed me it's possible to coexist with your enemies, but it's not easy.

Scenic Rwanda. Photo by Anna Boiko-Weyrauch.

I met with a different person every couple of days. We would chat in the association's dimly lit office, the size of a generous closet. You could hear the faint sounds of the radio buzzing in the background and the vibrant chants of tropical birds that made their home on campus.

They told me how they saw their parents and siblings murdered. How they narrowly escaped being killed themselves by hiding under the couch, or sneaking out the back door. They told me how they had to run away from their machete-weilding neighbors and hide in the forest. It was pretty intense.

There were also stories of betrayal. One survivor's family took in a man and his children on the run, sharing what little resources they had to nurture them back to health. But then, the fugitive said the family was Tutsi cockroaches and turned the them over to the extremist militia.

The scars were obvious. As they retold their stories their faces grew long and their voices monotone. But, something interesting happened when I asked about their AERG student families, the families made of fellow students. They immediately smiled and relaxed. I could tell there was a great deal of affection between the student mothers, fathers, and their children. They loved each other like a real family, even if the children were sometimes older than their "parents."

Two years later I returned to Rwanda to do the story. Everyone was about to graduate. They were looking forward to their future. Now that they had an education they could go far. Their family ties gave them hope and helped them face their new challenges as adults.

Listen to Anna's story on how children orphaned in Rwanda's 1994 genocide are forming families.